How I work with this
In working with self-esteem, we often see how an individual is inclined to perceive themselves in polar terms: either as an absolute ideal or as complete worthlessness, losing the capacity to tolerate their own imperfection and see themselves as a whole person (splitting mechanism). Using Transference-Focused Psychotherapy (TFP), we will explore how these habitual models of relating to oneself and others come alive right here and now, in our interaction during sessions (analysis of transference). This helps to gradually integrate conflicting representations of the self into a single picture, so that you can rely on a stable understanding of who you are (identity integration), which is especially necessary with a fragile sense of one's "Self" (borderline personality organization, or BPO).
Schema therapy will allow us to identify and weaken the influence of that internal voice that continuously criticizes you, terrifies you with failure, or demands unattainable perfection (punitive and demanding parental modes). If your difficulties with decision-making primarily lie within the tension between "I want" and "I must" (neurotic personality structure), we will work to soften these internal prohibitions. The goal of this process is to provide space for your genuine emotions and needs (healthy adult mode), so that you can rely on your own values rather than on guilt or fear.
Do you recognise yourself?
- ✓ constant feeling of personal incompetence compared to others
- ✓ fear of making mistakes that paralyzes you before any new endeavor
- ✓ habit of devaluing your own achievements and attributing them to mere luck
- ✓ deep feeling of emptiness even after reaching a long-awaited goal
- ✓ chronic doubt and anxiety when choosing a career or personal path
- ✓ feeling of living someone else's life or playing a role
- ✓ intense fear of disappointing loved ones with your independent decisions
- ✓ acute sensitivity to the slightest criticism and perceiving it as ultimate proof of your worthlessness
If you recognised 3+ points — it is a good reason to talk to a psychologist.
Approach & Methodology
Often, the feeling of one's own inadequacy is not an objective reality but rather an echo of early relationships where your needs were not heard or love had to be "earned." When an individual struggles to realize their potential or make an important life decision, it is most often related to a deep internal conflict between genuine, vital desires and rigid, punishing self-demands. The pain of constant comparison and devaluation of one's own achievements is exhausting, turning every day into an endless exam that is simply impossible to pass with flying colors.
I view difficulties with self-fulfillment and choice not as laziness or a lack of motivation, but rather as a form of defense. Sometimes, the psyche feels it is safer to remain in the shadows and make no choices rather than face the terror of a possible mistake or rejection. Together, we will gently explore the unconscious scripts that cause you to doubt your worth and block your movement toward the life you truly need.
Questions & Answers
Will you help me find my true purpose or choose a profession?
My goal is not to give you a ready-made instruction or advice regarding your career, but to help untangle the internal conflicts that prevent you from hearing yourself. When the level of anxiety and internal pressure decreases, you will be able to recognize for yourself which life choice is most suitable for you.
How much time does it take to believe in yourself and start acting?
The feeling of self-worth is not formed in a few sessions, because deep doubts and fears have been built up over years. Initial relief in the form of a better understanding of your reactions usually comes in a few months, but a fundamental restructuring of your attitude towards yourself takes time, regularity, and a safe space.
Why do I understand everything logically, but still feel like I'm not good enough?
Intellectual understanding of the problem is only the beginning. Beliefs about one's own inadequacy were laid down at a very early emotional level. In therapy, we work so that you can not just logically realize your strengths, but gain a new, safe experience of relationships that will allow you to change the very internal sense of yourself (emotional corrective experience).
What should I do if it seems to me that you are judging me for my choices or mistakes?
This is an absolutely natural and even expected stage of therapy. The fear of judgment in the office most often reflects your usual fears regarding other people. We will openly discuss these experiences to understand how the expectation of criticism arises, and step by step replace it with a real experience of acceptance.
Process
How the work unfolds
Initial contact
Write in the messenger or leave a request on the site. Do not look for the right words — I will help you carefully start our journey and we will choose a convenient meeting time.
First consultation
A safe space for acquaintance, where you will feel if my approach suits you. This meeting does not oblige you to anything and only helps determine the next steps.
Regular therapy
Meetings are held 1-2 times a week for 50 minutes, online or face-to-face. A stable schedule is necessary for deep transformation and the development of your internal supports.
Payment and booking
The session fee is 50 USD (in hryvnias). Please read the Public Offer. The time is finally reserved and confirmed after payment.
Contact
Book a consultation
I reply on weekdays. If you are in crisis — call me directly.
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