How I work with this
In therapy, we do not limit ourselves to studying communication techniques; rather, we address the underlying causes of your suffering. Using schema therapy, we identify the early models of perception (maladaptive schemas) that cause you to believe you do not deserve respect or that any intimacy will inevitably lead to betrayal. We also draw upon Transference-Focused Psychotherapy (TFP) to observe how these very same difficulties unfold directly in our communication. The way you build a connection with me in the office (transference dynamics) becomes a safe tool for exploring your real-life relationships.
Often in difficult relationships, we see our partner as either ideal or absolutely terrible, which indicates the use of black-and-white thinking to protect the psyche from unbearable pain (splitting mechanism). This is especially common if your emotional foundation was formed in unstable environments (borderline personality organization, or BPO). Our task is to develop your capacity to see yourself and the other as whole people, with all their flaws and virtues (identity integration), and to learn to tolerate complex, contradictory feelings without destroying a valuable bond (tolerance of ambivalence).
Do you recognise yourself?
- ✓ constant feeling of emotional rollercoasters from passionate love to intense hatred of your partner
- ✓ fear of speaking directly about your needs due to the risk of triggering conflict or being rejected
- ✓ deep sense of loneliness and emptiness even when physically close to your partner
- ✓ chronic guilt for everything that goes wrong in the relationship
- ✓ habit of justifying the partner's destructive behavior by pointing to difficult circumstances or their troubled past
- ✓ inability to end the relationship even when it clearly drains and destroys your life
If you recognised 3+ points — it is a good reason to talk to a psychologist.
Approach & Methodology
Dysfunctional relationships rarely arise out of nowhere. Usually, they are a painful reenactment of early attachment models where love was too tightly intertwined with suffering, rejection, or emotional coldness. You may feel like you are constantly running in circles, trying to reach your partner or family members, only to hit a wall of misunderstanding—or you yourself might feel an overwhelming urge to distance yourself when someone draws too close. In such relationships, a person often loses themselves trying to accommodate the other to avoid loneliness, or attacks first due to a deep, unconscious fear of being vulnerable.
Together, we explore this invisible dance where partners or family members unconsciously play out their deepest wounds. I do not look for a "guilty party" and do not offer ready-made advice on how to live your life. My goal is to create a space where you can see the hidden scripts that cause you to repeatedly choose pain over safety, and understand why it can be so hard to tolerate authentic, calm contact without the usual drama and destructive conflicts.
Questions & Answers
Is it normal that during sessions I sometimes feel anger or irritation towards you, as towards my partner?
This is not just normal, it is highly valuable material for our work. Your strong feelings towards me within the safe framework of the office (negative transference) allow us to see in real-time how you experience disappointment and misunderstanding. Together we learn to go through these moments without breaking contact.
Does starting therapy mean I will have to break off this relationship?
No. My goal — is to help you find internal support and clarity. When you begin to better understand yourself, your true emotions and needs, you will be able to make a balanced decision yourself: whether there is room for building healthy boundaries in this relationship, or whether they have completely exhausted themselves.
Why do I constantly choose partners with whom the same painful scenario repeats itself?
The human psyche has a tendency to gravitate towards the familiar, even if this familiar brings suffering. This is an unconscious attempt to replay old childhood traumas with the hope of a better ending this time (compulsive repetition). In therapy, we will work to become aware of this process and consciously stop reproducing it.
Will there be results if only I attend therapy and my partner refuses to change anything?
Yes. Any relationship is a system. When one person in this system radically changes their reactions, stops supporting habitual destructive games, and sets new boundaries, the system can no longer function in the old way. Your personal changes will inevitably affect the overall dynamic of the interaction.
Process
How the work unfolds
Initial contact
Write in the messenger or leave a request on the site. Do not look for the right words — I will help you carefully start our journey and we will choose a convenient meeting time.
First consultation
A safe space for acquaintance, where you will feel if my approach suits you. This meeting does not oblige you to anything and only helps determine the next steps.
Regular therapy
Meetings are held 1-2 times a week for 50 minutes, online or face-to-face. A stable schedule is necessary for deep transformation and the development of your internal supports.
Payment and booking
The session fee is 50 USD (in hryvnias). Please read the Public Offer. The time is finally reserved and confirmed after payment.
Contact
Book a consultation
I reply on weekdays. If you are in crisis — call me directly.
Or write directly