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Toxic and Dysfunctional Relationships in a Couple

Toxic and Dysfunctional Relationships in a Couple

Manipulation, codependency, emotional abuse, boundary violations, and lack of open dialogue.

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Education & Membership
Specialist Degree in Psychology Kyiv National University of Internal Affairs · 2003–2008
Psychologist, psychotherapist Co-founder of the Development and Abilitation Center 'ProSapiens' · 2019 →
Head of Development and Rehabilitation Department Medical Center 'Osoblyvyi' · 2018–2019
Psychologist Medical Center 'Osoblyvyi' · 2017–2018
Psychologist CO 'Down Syndrome', Early Development Center · 2015–2016
Group Psychodynamic Psychotherapy Kyiv Institute of Modern Psychology and Psychotherapy · 2018–2023
Transference-Focused Psychotherapy (TFP) in the treatment of borderline, narcissistic, and other severe personality disorders Ukrainian Association of Transference-Focused Psychotherapy (TFP-Ukraine) · 2024–2024
STIPO-R Structured Interview of Personality Organization (Revised) TFP-Ukraine · 2024–2024
Psychoanalytic work with non-neurotic patients Gradiva Psychoanalysis Center · 2024–2024
Structural psychoanalytic approach to the diagnosis and therapy of psychoses Institute of Psychoanalysis · 2023–2023
Seminar: Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder. Modern vision of the problem and diagnostics Ukrainian Union of Psychotherapy (UUP) · 2023–2023
Child and adolescent psychoanalytic psychotherapy International Institute of Depth Psychology · 2015–2016
More about education →

How I work with this

In working with toxic relationships, it is important to understand why this particular pattern keeps attracting again and again. Through analysis of early relationships and attachments, we explore unconscious scenarios and gradually change them. Therapy is possible both individually and together with a partner.

Do you recognise yourself?

  • manipulation and distrust
  • codependency
  • emotional abuse
  • boundary violations
  • inability for open dialogue

If you recognised 3+ points — it is a good reason to talk to a psychologist.

Approach & Methodology

Signs of Toxic Relationships

Toxic relationships are not only physical violence. Emotional manipulation, gaslighting, codependency, chronic unresolved conflicts — all of these destroy the psyche and self-esteem. Psychotherapy helps to see patterns and change them.

  • Manipulation and gaslighting
  • Codependency and fear of loneliness
  • Emotional abuse and devaluation
  • Inability to have open dialogue

Questions & Answers

Is it mandatory to come together with my partner? +

No. Therapy can take place either individually or as a couple. Often, the work begins individually: a person works through their own part of the relationship, which in itself changes the couple's dynamics.

Does seeking therapy mean the relationship has to end? +

No. A psychologist does not make decisions for you and does not set a goal to 'save' the relationship. The goal is to help you better understand yourself and your role in the relationship dynamics so you can make a conscious choice.

Is it possible to save our relationship if only I attend therapy? +

Individual work radically changes your internal dynamics and habitual reactions. You start to see reality without distortions and set boundaries. Sometimes this changes the relationship system in general and the partner catches up with you, and sometimes — it leads to a clear realization of the need to end them, but without the destructive fear and feeling of guilt.

What should I do if my partner blames me for all our problems and makes me believe that I am inadequate? +

This is a very common psychological mechanism when one's own unbearable feelings, guilt or aggression are unconsciously attributed to another person and force them to experience these feelings (projective identification). In therapy, we learn to clearly distinguish: where is truly your responsibility, and where — is the partner's attempt to place their own internal chaos in you.

Why do I rationally understand that the relationship is destructive, but I cannot just leave? +

This is a vivid conflict between your rational understanding and deep emotional deficits. For your psyche, emotional pain and suffering can feel like the only familiar, and therefore «safe» form of love (pathological attachment). We work to disconnect the concepts of closeness and pain.

How long does the work take to stop falling into such scenarios? +

Changing fundamental ideas about oneself and others (structural changes) takes time. Freeing from habitual defense mechanisms and growing new, healthy supports — is a deep process that usually requires long-term and regular work for a lasting result.

How the work unfolds

01

Initial contact

Write in the messenger or leave a request on the site. Do not look for the right words — I will help you carefully start our journey and we will choose a convenient meeting time.

02

First consultation

A safe space for acquaintance, where you will feel if my approach suits you. This meeting does not oblige you to anything and only helps determine the next steps.

03

Regular therapy

Meetings are held 1-2 times a week for 50 minutes, online or face-to-face. A stable schedule is necessary for deep transformation and the development of your internal supports.

04

Payment and booking

The session fee is 50 USD (in hryvnias). Please read the Public Offer. The time is finally reserved and confirmed after payment.

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I reply on weekdays. If you are in crisis — call me directly.

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