How I work with this
In working with codependency, I combine a deep understanding of mental processes and focused therapy methods. We will explore how you tend to perceive yourself and others through the prism of extremes—either idealizing your partner as an omnipotent savior or completely devaluing them during conflicts (splitting mechanism). For individuals with pronounced emotional vulnerability (borderline personality organization, or BPO), this process allows them to gather fragmented parts of themselves into an integrated whole. We will develop the capacity to tolerate mixed feelings without panic (tolerance of ambivalence) and preserve a sense of one's "Self" in close contact with another (identity integration).
Through schema therapy, we will identify early behavioral patterns, such as a tendency to submit or the expectation of inevitable abandonment (schemas), which compel you to repeatedly choose a painful merging scenario. Directly during sessions, we will analyze how you construct relationships with me (transference analysis) to notice precisely where you habitually lose your boundaries, and learn to build a secure connection without needing to abandon yourself.
Do you recognise yourself?
- ✓ you constantly postpone your own needs for the comfort of your partner
- ✓ you feel guilty for wanting to spend time alone
- ✓ you are in panic fear of a breakup even if the relationship objectively causes pain
- ✓ your mood completely depends on how your partner looked at you or what they said
- ✓ it is hard for you to understand what you truly want outside the context of the other person
- ✓ you take responsibility for other people's emotions and actions
- ✓ you constantly seek confirmation of your significance through self-sacrifice and saving your loved one
If you recognised 3+ points — it is a good reason to talk to a psychologist.
Approach & Methodology
Emotional dependency often grows out of a deep, sometimes unconscious fear of being left alone with one's inner emptiness. When one's self-concept feels too fragile or blurred (identity diffusion), an acute need arises to merge with another person, to dissolve in their desires and needs to feel whole and alive. In such relationships, boundaries vanish: the partner's pain becomes your pain, and their mood completely determines your own emotional state.
I understand well how exhausting this cycle is, where attachment is experienced as constant anxiety and a need to control the other to avoid rejection. The psyche is forced to lean on the partner as the sole source of its own worth, reenacting early scenarios where safety depended on complete submission or self-sacrifice. My task is to help you safely face this fear and gradually reclaim your own psychological boundaries.
Questions & Answers
Does treating codependency mean I will have to break off my current relationship?
Not at all. Therapy is not aimed at destroying relationships, but at changing your way of interacting within them. The goal is for you to be able to stay close to your partner, relying on your own strong "Self", and not on the fear of losing them. However, in the process of your internal strengthening, the format of the relationship may indeed transform.
How long does the work with emotional dependence take?
Transformation of the deep structures of personality takes time. Usually we are talking about long-term work (from a year or more), because we need not just to relieve acute anxiety, but gradually grow your ability to rely on yourself and safely distinguish between your own and others' feelings (separation-individuation).
Why do I understand that I am dissolving into another person, but I cannot stop?
Intellectual understanding is usually not enough, since the need for fusion is a way for the psyche to protect itself from unbearable experiences of isolation or one's own worthlessness. In therapy, we work not so much with logic, but with this deep emotional deficit, giving the psyche a new, safe experience of attachment.
Won't I become an egoist if I start putting my needs first?
This is one of the most common fears when working with codependency. Feeling one's own boundaries and taking care of oneself — is not a marker of indifference or using others (narcissistic dynamics), but a basic condition for loving another with mature love, without the secret expectation that they should fill your inner emptiness.
Process
How the work unfolds
Initial contact
Write in the messenger or leave a request on the site. Do not look for the right words — I will help you carefully start our journey and we will choose a convenient meeting time.
First consultation
A safe space for acquaintance, where you will feel if my approach suits you. This meeting does not oblige you to anything and only helps determine the next steps.
Regular therapy
Meetings are held 1-2 times a week for 50 minutes, online or face-to-face. A stable schedule is necessary for deep transformation and the development of your internal supports.
Payment and booking
The session fee is 50 USD (in hryvnias). Please read the Public Offer. The time is finally reserved and confirmed after payment.
Contact
Book a consultation
I reply on weekdays. If you are in crisis — call me directly.
Or write directly