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How to Know If You Are Right for Each Other: A Simple 8-Point Test
Relationships 5 January 2025 3 min read

How to Know If You Are Right for Each Other: A Simple 8-Point Test

Summary

In promising relationships, at least five of the eight core life values must align. Every relationship is built on three key pillars...

In promising relationships, at least five of the eight core life values must align.


Every relationship is built on three key pillars: sex, everyday life, and shared values. Sex and everyday life can be adjusted to the needs of the couple, changing them according to circumstances, looking for compromises. But values are a deep level that either coincides or does not. It is they who determine how much two people can build long-term, harmonious relationships.

In promising relationships, at least five of the eight core life values must align. If the coincidence is minimal or there is none at all, conflicts, misunderstandings, and a sense of distance become inevitable.

1. Home and personal space

Every person has their own idea of an ideal home. For some, it is a cozy apartment in the city center, for another—a house in nature. Someone loves perfect order, while someone calmly relates to creative disorder. If the partners have too different ideas about living space, this can cause conflict.

2. Family

If one partner considers family a priority and strives for close connection with parents and relatives, while the other prefers autonomy, this can become a serious obstacle. Expectations regarding children, duties to older family members, and frequency of meetings with relatives are important points for coordination.

3. Friends

Attitude toward friendship also matters. One partner can be socially active, love big companies and constant communication, while the other prefers intimate meetings or generally limits communication with friends. Incompatibility in this matter can cause conflicts or a sense of isolation.

4. Career, self-realization, money

One partner values financial stability, the other—creativity and freedom. Someone wants to build a career, while someone values the balance between work and personal life. Different views on work, income, and expenses can create tension in the relationship.

5. Health and body attitude

Diet, sports, health care—all these are important aspects of life together. If one partner monitors health, leads an active lifestyle, and the other neglects these issues, misunderstanding and even irritation can arise.

6. Personal space

Some people need a lot of time for themselves, others are offended by any distancing of the partner. If one needs a lot of time alone to recover, and the other strives for constant closeness, this can cause mutual dissatisfaction.

7. Love and enjoyment of life

Everyone has their own idea of how to express love: through words, actions, touch, or gifts. Also, the attitude toward the joys of life differs: one partner can enjoy simple moments, the other—seek bright emotions and adventures. If the expectations from love and joint leisure are different, relationships can become a source of disappointment.

8. Hobbies and interests

Shared interests strengthen the bond, but it is also important to respect the partner's individual interests. If one partner considers another's hobby silly or a waste of time, this can cause tension and devaluation.

Harmonious relationships are not only feelings, but also deep compatibility in key life spheres. Sex and everyday life can be adjusted, but if the basic values are too different, maintaining a stable bond will be difficult. That is why you should pay attention to how much your views on life coincide to build healthy and long-lasting relationships.

Education & Membership
Specialist Degree in Psychology Kyiv National University of Internal Affairs · 2003–2008
Psychologist, psychotherapist Co-founder of the Development and Abilitation Center 'ProSapiens' · 2019 →
Head of Development and Rehabilitation Department Medical Center 'Osoblyvyi' · 2018–2019
Psychologist Medical Center 'Osoblyvyi' · 2017–2018
Psychologist CO 'Down Syndrome', Early Development Center · 2015–2016
Group Psychodynamic Psychotherapy Kyiv Institute of Modern Psychology and Psychotherapy · 2018–2023
Transference-Focused Psychotherapy (TFP) in the treatment of borderline, narcissistic, and other severe personality disorders Ukrainian Association of Transference-Focused Psychotherapy (TFP-Ukraine) · 2024–2024
STIPO-R Structured Interview of Personality Organization (Revised) TFP-Ukraine · 2024–2024
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